


Counting Clouds

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, Declarations Of Love, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Ben Solo, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Has PTSD, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Protective Ben Solo, Protective Poe Dameron, Sharing a Bed, Sort Of, implied - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 12:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15908526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben and Poe help each other get to sleep.





	Counting Clouds

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MidgardianNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: For MidgardianNerd, who has sleep issues.

 To say that Poe Dameron was having trouble getting to sleep was an understatement. Even closing his eyes, he couldn’t help but see what he had seen on his worse missions, remember some of the worse things he’d done. Not for the first time, he was in the kitchen of his house, BB-8 powered down for the night, and nursing his caffa. 

Then there was a knock on the door, and Poe got up to answer the door. He opened the door, and his heart broke to see Ben standing in the doorway, hair a mess, looking like he hadn’t slept well. 

At least Poe wasn’t alone. 

“Ben, come in,” Poe said. “You look like every hell ever concocted.”

Ben smiled weakly. “You should see the other guy.”

”Ben, really,” Poe said as they sat down at the table. “What’s wrong? And do you need caffa?”

Ben sighed. “I’m just...scared to close my eyes. I don’t think caffa will help.”

”Nightmares?”

”Yeah.” 

“You haven’t talked to your uncle about it?” Poe said softly. 

Ben shook his head. “He hates me already as it is. I mean, the way he looks at me...” A beat. “And I guess I don’t want to be, y’know, a monster.”

Silence. It was the first time that Poe had actually heard Ben say those words out loud. And his heart broke. How could Ben say these things about himself? How could anyone so wonderful, so kind and witty and amazing, actually hate themselves that much? Over nightmares, to boot? Just nightmares. 

“Ben,” he said. “Nightmares don’t make you a bad person.”

”You haven’t seen what they’re about.”

”From my experience, the brain can definitely make up some kriffed up stuff at night.”

”Yeah, but you get stuff like...” Ben trailed off. It was clear, at least, that he didn’t want to presume. 

“It’s okay, Ben. I mean, some of the things I dream of can get pretty gory.” Poe sighed. “When you’re out in the field, you really see some stuff.”

”Poe...” Ben said. “Can I stay with you for the night? I mean, you could use some company...and I don’t want to sleep alone.”

Poe swallowed. “No problem.”

Ben changed out of his Jedi robes into pajamas in the privacy of one of the rooms. Even seeing him emerge from one of the rooms, dressed in pajamas with X-Wings on them, pajamas that were the closest that could fit on his muscular frame...

Poe smiled. 

“A little domestic, isn’t it?” Ben smiled back, and even that was a relief for Poe to see. “Sharing pajamas...”

Poe laughed. “A little.” A beat, and Poe became more serious. “Do you want me to stay with you?”

”Thank you.” A beat. “You could...share my room, if it keeps the nightmares away.”

It seemed almost intimate for people who were still friends, on the verge of something that Poe hoped would be real. He loved Ben. He wondered if Ben knew what he was doing, proposing being so close.

“Did I say something wrong?” Ben said. “I didn’t mean it. I thought that — ’’ 

Poe shook his head. “I’d welcome your company, Ben.”

Even getting comfortable in bed was difficult. Ben was big, obviously, and tall, and Poe felt so small next to him. It wasn’t terrible, though, or scary. It was like Ben was protecting him. They were protecting each other. They got comfortable, and there was something about Ben’s presence that just felt right, like they were both where they belonged. 

“There’s something else...” Ben sighed. “I occasionally go to it when things get too much.” A beat. “I guess I have to show you, if that’s okay.” 

Poe turned over on his side. There was something about Ben’s command of the Force that already felt like Poe was stepping into a whole new galaxy. Ben didn’t know how amazing he was, how awe-inspiring with his command of the Force and his telepathic abilities. Just to name two. 

“What do I have to do?” Poe said. 

“Just close your eyes.” A beat. “Don’t worry,” Ben said, smiling warmly. “I’m not going to disappear on you.”

Poe closed his eyes, and it was then he felt the tendrils of Ben’s presence in his mind, curious, searching, amazed at what they found — he could feel Ben’s open, unbridled worship, like Poe was a god. Of course, he would be a very bad god sometimes. 

He saw the open fields, where they cloud-gazed. He saw the fluffy white clouds, where they could make out different shapes, even X-Wings. 

 _Why here?_ he said.

 _I feel safe, when I’m with you._ Ben said. _You make me better._

_And I feel safe when I’m with you. I love you, Ben._

He could sense Ben’s surprise, then delight. _I thought — I felt the same way about you. I never thought you’d return it._

_I do. I feel safe...when I’m with you..._

Poe and Ben fell asleep, and together, they immersed themselves in their own fantasy world, counting clouds where neither of their demons could reach them. 


End file.
